My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
