The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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