Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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