Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
