Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
