You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
