how can u be prego again
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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