Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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