He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
