so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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