I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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