i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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