remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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