12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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