you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
