All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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