do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
