What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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