the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
