I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
