i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
