Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
