my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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