yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
