so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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