God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
