I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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