you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
