"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
