Screwed.edu
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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