No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
