So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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