Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
