Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize