I just cut my nipple shaving
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
