your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We were destined to go to rehab together
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
