ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
