I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
