Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
