i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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