I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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