Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
