I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
