i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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