Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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