based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize