we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
