all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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