I CAN MOONWALK!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
