She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
