Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
