you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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