garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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