Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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