yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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