ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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