I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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