Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
