What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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