The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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