kristin has been a bad kristin
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
