just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
