I wish I could teleport
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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