did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm bleeding and have questions
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
